Stairwell Aficionado

Oct 263 min read

The Evergreen State College | SEM II Building

This just happens to be my favorite place on campus to play guitar and make unsettling screeching noises.

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Mar 2, 20213 min read

Red Lion Inn/Governor's Hotel

Was it a metaphor for our relationship? I don't know; I am way too drunk to psychoanalyze what she meant by "emotionally distant."

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Apr 12, 20203 min read

A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building

it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.

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Feb 28, 20201 min read

A Quick Stare: Tumwater Falls

I was so happy to find some stairs that I didn't bother seeing the falls—I'd already fallen head-over-heels in love.

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Jan 11, 20201 min read

A Quick Stare: My Viola Floral Studio

They said I could be anything I set my mind to and work hard toward. So I became a stairwell aficionado.

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Jan 1, 20201 min read

Great Falls Public Library, Great Falls, MT

Library policy is If it's returned via the hole, you pay zero toll. The other policy being What happens in the romance section stays there.

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Nov 22, 20191 min read

A Quick Stare: The Park Side Cafe--Emergency Stairwell

I performed the ancient vegan trick of regurgitating partially digested food to travel backwards in time.

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Nov 12, 20192 min read

GRuB, Olympia

The teacher encouraged us to start cutting up vegetables and letting them fall right into the water around the brazenly naked man before us.

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Oct 15, 20191 min read

A Quick Stare: East Bay Drive, Olympia

I had to bribe the Oly Projects twitter account with a promise to open all of their sealed pickle jars, but they gave me the answer I sought

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Oct 7, 20191 min read

A Quick Stare: State of the Arts Gallery and Gifts, Olympia

These stairs get 3 art pieces that just really speak to me out of 5.

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Oct 2, 20191 min read

A Quick Stare: Timberland Regional Library, Hoquiam

The bathroom was exceptionally clean. --was-- ------!WAS!------

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Sep 29, 20191 min read

A Quick Stare: Department of Labor and Industries

I'd been exploring the Dept. of Labor and Industries, turned a corner, and saw this absolute unit wriggle before my eyes.

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Sep 9, 20191 min read

A Quick Stare: Olympic Visions mural, Port Angeles

When Guy Fieri or Smash Mouth vocalist Steve Harwell roll into town with their frosted tips, things get slippery--like in a bad way; you do

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Aug 10, 20191 min read

A Quick Stare: Old Town Center, Tumwater

The rails are excellent for sliding down on one's butt--a butt draped in pants, of course.

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Aug 1, 20191 min read

A Quick Stare: The Park Side Cafe, Olympia

Stairwell Aficionado The hardwood stairs are sick! The twisty spindles are sick! Creepily watching others from the rooftop dining area is...

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Jul 15, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: Portland Greens PDX--Portland, OR

The decor is so lifelike. After I got a 7 stroke on hole 4, some animatronic pirates started yo-ho-ing and smacked me with a plaster rapier.

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Jun 10, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: Eastside Urban Farm and Garden Center

They didn't sell any of those giant piranha plants emerging from and receding into giant green pipes that I could warp around in.

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Jun 6, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: The Evergreen State College, LAB II

I thought me and the stairwells were cool; I thought the stairwells were going to let me use Their Word which had historically been used aga

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Jun 1, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: The Evergreen State College Library Building, 3-Floor Above Vending Machines

Around and around and around the vending options go. Where they stop, only RAD mechanic Steve knows.

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May 21, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: Soap Co. Coffee House, Jacksonville, IL

Stairwell Aficionado I asked for a Cafe Au Lait, and the barista lowered her head and bull-charged me through the wall and into Our Town...

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Apr 23, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: Lewis and Clark Interpretive Center, Ilwaco

Stairwell Aficionado These stairs worked my core of discovery. This stairwell gets 2 Meriwether Lewis auto-erotic asphyxiation death...

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Apr 3, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: The Evergreen State College, CAB North East Stairwell

Stairwell Aficionado One time, before I realized my calling as a stairwell aficionado, I tripped and fell while attempting to walk up the...

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Mar 27, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: Church of God, Montesano

Stairwell Aficionado I opened the little door below the stairs, and a short human child pushed me over and tore off one of my shoes and a...

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Mar 15, 20192 min read

The Evergreen State College, Between the Pool and CAB

Stairwell Aficionado This will be my first Evergreen stairwell post since I stopped working in the bagel department. I thought I'd move...

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Mar 9, 20192 min read

Grays Harbor Public Viewpoint Tower, Hoquiam

Stairwell Aficionado Oh boy, I haven't written a full-length stairwell review in a long time. This one deserves it, though, as it's...

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Feb 21, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: Tinderbox Coffee Roasters, Aberdeen

Stairwell Aficionado The barista laughed at my joke. He has to marry me now. Dems da rules. Picking out my dress as we speak. This dark,...

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Feb 14, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: Harbor Place Aberdeen

Stairwell Aficionado This stairwell separates the diamond sellers from the Russian lawyers. The carpet pattern induced-vertigo separated...

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Feb 11, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: Rusted Thing Next to Grow Op, S Adams St, Hoquiam

Stairwell Aficionado With my amount of knowledge of this area, I'd say that those tubes fire missiles loaded with drugs to Mexico where...

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Feb 7, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: Port of Grays Harbor, Hoquiam

Stairwell Aficionado There're, like, at least 7 stairwells here. Although I'm preeetty sure these giant cylinders contain David...

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Feb 7, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: Hoquiam River Bridge--no the other one

Stairwell Aficionado This almighty stairwell leads to heaven. The bouncer at the bottom keeps asking to see my nips, yet never lets me...

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Feb 4, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: Furniture World, Aberdeen

Stairwell Aficionado Every level was a differently styled staircase within this mega stairwell. I bought nothing and feel no guilt. It...

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Feb 2, 20191 min read

Quick Review: Hoquiam River Bridge

Stairwell Aficionado When cars drive over this bridge it sounds like Jay Jay the Jet Plane flying back into my life after he left to buy...

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Jan 29, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: Grays Harbor WorkSource, The Elliot Building, Aberdeen

Stairwell Aficionado I came with the mission of finding the source of all work. I left with the aroma of a urinal cake lingering in my...

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Jan 24, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: End of Cooper Point Rd, Olympia

Stairwell Aficionado I don't know WHY I couldn't take a non-blurry picture of this amazing stairwell that features tile steps. TILE...

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Jan 21, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: Super Gay Water Tower--Tumwater, WA

Stairwell Aficionado It's super gay and virile. 4 Scarlett Johanssons playing gay women out of 5. #AustinTexas #AustinStairwell

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Jan 19, 20191 min read

Quick Stare: Kaiser Permanente--Olympia--South Wall

Stairwell Aficionado This is where I'm shooting my new sitcom "Brick & Mortary." 2 oooooo weeeeee's out of 5. #ThurstonCountyStairs

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Jan 16, 20191 min read

Anthony's restaurant, I think? Somewhere near there Olympia, WA

Stairwell Aficionado Yeah, these stairs get the job done. It ain't much but it's an honest 1 out of 5 dying memes. #Memeonlastleg...

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Dec 31, 20181 min read

Quick Stare: Someone's Property Montesano, WA

Stairwell Aficionado These stairs rule. 4 unexpected but unsatisfying M. Night Shyamalan twists out of 5. #MontesanoWA...

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Nov 1, 20184 min read

Olympia State Gov. Office Building 2

Stairwell Aficionado Happy Halloween! Oh boy has it been a while since I wrote a full-length stairwell review. I celebrated Stairwell...

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Oct 23, 20181 min read

Quick Review: Thriftway Backroom Montesano, WA

Stairwell Aficionado Right after I took this picture the pallet jack came alive, chased me down, and hoisted me up by my underwear,...

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Oct 19, 20181 min read

Quick Stare: Hoquiam City Hall Hoquiam, WA

Stairwell Aficionado These aren't the Golden arches I was promised, Mom, but I looted the employee fridge and made my own Kid's Meal. 4...

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Oct 3, 20181 min read

Quick Stare: Nelson Field Montesano, WA

Stairwell Aficionado Is there a wood splinter-caused infection equivalent of tetanus? Cause I'm gonna need its vaccination before I climb...

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Oct 2, 20181 min read

Quick Stare: Tacoma Convention Center--Tacoma, WA

Stairwell Aficionado This stairwell cured my erectile dysfunction. 5 doctors asked if Cialis is right for you out of 5. #TacomaWA...

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Sep 8, 20181 min read

Quick Stare: Grays Harbor County Public Health & Social Services, Aberdeen

Stairwell Aficionado I slid down the banister and fell head first into the recycling bin, becoming entombed in a sea of shredded...

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Sep 7, 20181 min read

Quick Stare: Tacoma Art Museum

Stairwell Aficionado This isn't actually a stairwell you can walk on. This is a picture of a Wile E. Coyote-esque painting on a wall....

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Sep 7, 20181 min read

Quick Stare: Econo Lodge I-205 Portland, OR

Stairwell Aficionado The bottom of this stairwell was completely taken over by flies. In unison they attacked pressure points on my body,...

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Sep 7, 20181 min read

Quick Stare: Another Read Through Portland, OR

Stairwell Aficionado This staircase led to a magical loft where the internet has no power and books rule the land. At least that's what I...

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Aug 30, 20181 min read

Quick Stare: Someone's House in Sweden

Stairwell Aficionado Knowing IKEA, this stairwell is unusable and for looks only and will surely fall apart upon first step. 5...

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Jul 27, 20183 min read

Mima Mounds Observatory, Little Rock

Stairwell Aficionado I have Carly Ray Jepson's "Call Me Maybe" running through my head on repeat. And I only know the chorus, so it's...

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Jun 27, 20181 min read

Quick Stare: Cosmopolis Treaty Grounds Facility

Stairwell Aficionado The gate kept me out, but the likelihood of tetanus kept me out more. 3 anti-vaxers out of 5 would like to speak to...

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