The Impotent Satyr
A short synopsis of the upcoming episode was leaked online Friday, July 12, and the internet has blown up with intrigue and questions like, "Why?" Anyway, the episode goes something like this...
Dustin's girlfriend, Suzie, sends him a package in the mail; it's five complete costumes from the Japanese live-action TV series Super Sentai. Suzie makes Dustin wear one of the outfits (the pink one), take pictures of himself, and send them to her. Dustin protests, but Suzie doesn't let up and threatens to hang up & break up with him. Dustin gives in and captures himself in a number of poses. He promises to send them to Suzie and turns off the radio.
Yada-yada-yada, stuff happens, but then Dustin, Mike, Eleven, Lucas, and Will have to put on the suits to fight The Mind Flayer (because the Japanese government designed super suits, and someone accidentally sent them to Suzie in place of the regular outfits). Also, Will takes his suit off because he wants to play D&D forever and ever, and he's a lil bish. So Steve continues his fabulous redemption arch and dons the Yellow Ranger tunic, pants, and helmet, only it's too small to fit him, so his stomach and thighs are just kind of exposed. Also he has to crack open the visor on the helmet to let his massive wad of hair breathe.
Will's mother and the Russian-speaking journalist, Murray Bauman (Joyce's love interest this season), team up again and tell the kids to stay put, which of course goes on deaf ears. The kids make their away into The Upside Down and do battle with some of the creatures there. Also they do super sick flips and cartwheels through the woods.
Then The Mind Flayer reveals itself, and the kids try and fight it. Murray Bauman shows up and sacrifices himself and dies because Joyce can't have nice things. Everyone is sad, but then it's revealed that they don't need the suits--the power was within them this whole time. So then everyone (including the ghost of Billy) punches the thing in a really extra way with more unnecessary flips and flailing arm pizazz. Nancy shoots it with a bazooka because she learned how to shoot a rifle that one time, so she basically has this skill mastered. Also Jonathan is there. It's defeated; everyone fucks (except Joyce).
The End.
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