Flaccid Jazz | The Impotent Satyr

Jul 141 min read

Kenny Sawggins | Everybody Cut Foot Loose

"Kick off your Saw-nday shoes"

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Mar 241 min read

DJ Khaled's Titillating Beats

"A nether one." (translation: a speaker is also located in my nether region)

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Mar 201 min read

GABBA

Yo Momma Momma Mia

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Mar 201 min read

$uiciderboy$ Hard Cider

Your liver will handle what your heart can't. Drink up, bitch.

8 views0 comments

Mar 41 min read

Ñ the Enya Mariachi Cover Band

I say 'yay'; You say 'yay'; We all say 'yay' for Ñ.

7 views0 comments

Feb 51 min read

Kornsync

Hey I just met you This is cray Here's my number Call me May

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Nov 12, 20231 min read

Where Those 'Down With the Sickness' Vocals Came From

Ten Thousand Light Bulbs in the Air

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Aug 2, 20231 min read

Face Off | Kate Bush, John Travolta

I'd be runnin' up that hill (wearing your face) Runnin' up that road (still wearing your face) Runnin' up that building (sweating profusely)

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Jul 28, 20231 min read

Creed's Scott Stapp Seen Busking for a Job

"I'd really prefer to work somewhere on or adjacent to golden streets."

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Jun 20, 20231 min read

IceCP | F*cking Dragnets

Where's all the sexy corpses at? Don't tell me I bought all this scuba gear for nothing!

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Jun 15, 20231 min read

Did You Know? Guns n' Roses Converted 'Sweet Child O Mine' Lyrics for International Release

Flaccid Jazz I haven't an ounce of regret for making this.

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Jun 14, 20231 min read

VAN HAILIN'

"Runnin' (Up the Meter) With the Devil"

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Jun 6, 20231 min read

Rick Paramoranis

That's what you get when you let spaceballs win

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Jun 2, 20231 min read

Shot Through the Heart, Museum Curator to Blame

You give Louvre a bad name

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Mar 1, 20231 min read

Cup my life into Reese's

Entire cup may be submerged in a milky brine.

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Feb 20, 20231 min read

Did You Know This Ozzy Osbourne Fact?

On the first night of the South American tour, Ozzy bit the bat-shaped mustache clean off a poor señor's face.

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Dec 29, 20221 min read

Gojiravatar | The Way of All Water

Pandoraborous

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Aug 10, 20221 min read

Rinse and the Real Lotion

Flaccid Jazz This is what it sounds like when doves cry [SPLASHING NOISES]

8 views0 comments

Jun 3, 20221 min read

Call 811 Before You Diggity

Flaccid Jazz I like the way you work it. Especially after you've called 8-1-1 to confirm with your local utilities company that it's OK...

19 views0 comments

Jun 1, 20221 min read

NFL Draft Punk

Flaccid Jazz "One more time we're gonna celebrate—" *ref blows whistle* EXCESSIVE CELEBRATION! FIVE YARD PENALTY! *the home team crowd...

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Jul 17, 20201 min read

Green Day Packers

Billie Joe Armstrong was subsequently sacked hard on the first play and fell into a coma, not waking until September 30th.

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Jul 6, 20201 min read

Michael Jackson | Bleat It

Flaccid Jazz

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May 6, 20201 min read

Trail of Tears For Fears | Songs From The Big Line

Flaccid Jazz I was going to write a track list, but going any further with this feels too wrong.

15 views0 comments

Dec 8, 20191 min read

Frick on a Leash

Sonic is a part of me; He and I were meant to play; Sonic games make me irate; Sonic plays the part of me

30 views0 comments

Dec 5, 20191 min read

OK Boomer by AM Radiohead

Track 6--PC Police Ruined My Jokes

42 views0 comments

Dec 4, 20192 min read

Phil Collins Doesn't Remember Acting in Waterworld, and I'm Not Surprised

Genesis front man Phil Collins doesn't remember acting in the 1995 movie Waterworld, and I think that's the least of his problems.

190 views0 comments

Oct 20, 20191 min read

Nine Inch Brailles

Will you bite the hand that reads?

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Oct 15, 20191 min read

Half Shell (Alice in Chains somber parody)

Bygone heroes in a half shell.

16 views0 comments

Oct 2, 20191 min read

Friday, Friday, Gotta Go-Down-On Friday

And now all those foreign language classes you took in college to become a Cunnilinguist were for naught.

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Sep 27, 20191 min read

Sweet Gherkins endorsed by The Eurythmics (Eurythpics)

Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to get used by you. Some of them want to abuse you. Some of them want to be abused.

3 views0 comments

Sep 18, 20191 min read

David Lee Roth IRA

Flaccid Jazz Call your personal tax specialist today to switch over to this fabulous new option--oh, who am I kidding? This is a dumb joke.

66 views0 comments

Jul 26, 20191 min read

Report: Bruno Mars' Non-Believers Still Just Watching

Flaccid Jazz Feat. Mark Ronson This post sponsored by Impotent Products! Selling you things you didn't know existed and don't really...

14 views0 comments

Jul 18, 20191 min read

You've Got a Hand in Me (Randy Newman/Toy Story parody)

You've got a hand in me. With one finger you nod my head, and you make me agree to everything you've said. I still remember when you wore me

23 views0 comments

Jun 18, 20191 min read

Mehrunes 5

Their new album Hands All Over Tamriel is making its way to an oblivion gate near you!

39 views0 comments

Apr 7, 20191 min read

Taken Back Sunday

Lazzara claims that his band doesn't fit into the emo genre, but when his own band mates go missing, he begins to play a different tune.

23 views0 comments

Jul 6, 20181 min read

Economists Come Together: Beatles Would Need to Have Love 11 Days a Week in Today's Economy

Flaccid Jazz #TheBeatles

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