Mt. Sinai Man Receives Commanding Texts, Rock Hard Tabs
The Impotent Satyr One of these commanding messages read "thou shalt not kill," which Moses, the Sinai man, had already done. So,...
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Mar 31, 2019
Not to Be Outdone, Peter Requests Upside Down Crucifixion
The Impotent Satyr Founder of Christianity and lover of friendly competition, Jesus Christ took a game of "one-better" between himself...
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Mar 27, 2019
Stalemate Begins as Neither Co-op Cashier nor Shopper Bags Items
The Impotent Satyr Co-op customer Marilyn Brasco finished up her shopping Wednesday and headed for the check-out stand where she then...
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Mar 26, 2019
Back to School: Colt Teaches Public New Firearms Features
The Impotent Satyr Colt Manufacturing LLC just dropped a load of information about newly designed rifles for sale in the public sector....
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Mar 23, 2019
Mueller Accidentally Submits Dream Journal Instead of Report
The Impotent Satyr On Friday, March 22, 2019 Special Council Robert Mueller submitted his findings of Russian interference in US...
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Mar 22, 2019
Pence Sex Tape Leak: 14 Mins of Fully-Clothed Missionary in Silence
The Impotent Satyr A once-secret video depicting Mike and Karen Pence going at it was leaked to the internet, where it quickly made the...
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Mar 22, 2019
Sound Tech Pulling Hair Out After 5th Mic Drop of Rap Battle
The Impotent Satyr My god! You monsters! Hasn't she had enough? You've beaten her to a pulp! Her head is dented in and the feedback I'm...
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Mar 21, 2019
Study Finds Big Lemon Just Thick-Rind Lying Asshole
Imagine this: You're at the grocery store with your family. You think you are safe. You're not.
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Mar 18, 2019
Congress Blocks Wall Funding, Activates Trump's Trap Card
The bipartisan bros recoiled and were forced to end their battle phase.
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Mar 16, 2019
Man Cooperates w/ Mueller to Erase Past Jaywalking Charges
The Impotent Satyr Special Counsel Robert Mueller has found yet another guilty individual to reveal what he knows about Russia's...
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Mar 11, 2019
Smug Astronaut Realtor Sticks "Space for Sale" Sign in Orbit
The Impotent Satyr "There's a great view of the ocean." #OuterSpacelols #SarahPalin
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Mar 5, 2019
Iceberg Careening Toward NY, Team of Alcoholics Assembled to Stop It
The Impotent Satyr NASA scientists have witnessed an iceberg twice the size of New York City break off from the Brunt Ice Shelf in...
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Mar 3, 2019
Heart-Warming: Grandson Visits to Remove Search Engines, Again
The Impotent Satyr Playing the fool once again, Susan Richmond has called her Grandson, Kyle, who knows everything about computers and...
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Feb 27, 2019
Cory Booker Unearths Ancient Media Prophesying His Presidential Win
The Impotent Satyr Deep in the uncharted territory below the cushions of Cory Booker's living room couch the New Jersey senator's TV...
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Feb 25, 2019
Biden Considers Leaving Politics, Pursue Career as Masseur
The Impotent Satyr "I just want to touch people--not figuratively." #JoeBiden #TheImpotentSatyr
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Feb 25, 2019
Wacky Race to the White House Part 1: Democracy and Ranch
The Impotent Satyr Welcome one and all to the Wacky Race to the White House! Let's check in with our drivers. Kamala Harris and Elizabeth...
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Feb 19, 2019
This Man is Disrupting a $5 Billion Industry Using This One Weird Trick
The Impotent Satyr Dude's been scouring Oblivion's source code. #Jesusfishduplicateglitch
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Feb 16, 2019
Sarah Sanders Wears Medieval Helmet to Mueller Interrogation
The Impotent Satyr Late last year Sarah Huckabee-Sanders (as well as John Kelly and some former cabinet members) was interviewed by...
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